I've read plenty of romance with lines that are cheesy, but it doesn't sound cheesy in books. And I am sure that even in movies, when the actors can do it right, it wouldn't sound as cheesy either. But this movie adds gas to the fire. Bad acting + enhanced corniness = series of rude guffaws from me in the theater.
Honorable mentions:
The scene with Edward making a grand entrance as he is walks lazily in slow-mo, with the wind blowing at him. and emits a glow while smiling devastatingly at Bella
Can you read that line and not even feel the urge to roll your eyes? Sure, he's good looking. And a brooding, tortured vampire who has just found love after a hundred year is just the recipe to intrigue every dole-eyed, naive teenage girls in the world; but no need to bring out the runway theme here. All that's missing is Right Said Fred's "I'm Too Sexy For My Shirt" song.
Edward and Bella both seem to have trouble trying to get things out of their mouths
That is, they have a hard time saying things. In general. About anything. I don't know if that's their character because I didn't finish (any of) the books, or if it's bad acting, but you literally see them pause for a long time before any words come out. It kind of reminds me of some of the Korean dramas that are so popular nowadays, because they too take forever to say anything. (Anyone notice that?) It's like they lost the ability to speak. Which is inconsistent, because the supporting characters spoke fine and fluidly. And the supposed "pained" expression that Edward tried to sport every time he pushed Bella away (because he wanted to keep her from danger) actually looked more like he was constipated than suffering.
It isn't just Edward, Bella sounded like she either has autism or brain damage, maybe both. She avoided eye contact, had very few facial expression, stuttered profusely, and spoke with a monotone. The stuff she said is a mixture of convoluted phrases crammed together that I don't understand a fuck of what she's trying to say.
Just because werewolf boy has abs and muscles that can crush walnuts doesn't mean it's tasteful to flaunt it around
A shirt is enough to outline his godly muscular contours. The body is hot, I get it. But it was so obvious that they were trying to find excuses for him to strip - Bella gets a scratch and bleeds from hitting a rock and SHAZAM Jacob whisks his shirt off and delicately dabs the blood from her forehead. This cues for hormonally challenged teenage girls to reek havoc in the theater.
What is with the vampire and werewolf language?
Maybe I've mistaken, but were they talking in their own language?? They get their own language?!11 Which by the way were blurbs of nonsense.
The corniest, cheesiest, lamest lines to ever be presented on national movie screen, not including stuff coming from Shakespeare of course
Something along the lines of "Bella, your gift for me is by merely breathing" hands down.
Edward doesn't look pale, he looked like somebody dumped a bunch of baking flour on him
You could see his real skin color along his hairline. Vampires are supposed to be pale, not pearly white.
All I can say is the money was worth the amusement and laughter that it brought. Plus the thirteen year old kid next to me laughed along and made the experience a lot funnier.
